How Do We Help Reid
by CassieAggie
Summary: Spencer Reid was a changed man; a scared young man... Covers the ensuing few days after Reid is saved after his capture by Tobias.


**How Do We Help Reid**

_Spencer Reid was a changed man; a scared young man..._

Jason and Aaron walked on either side of Reid as they guided him to the SUV parked outside the hospital.

He had endured the plane trip home after his horrifying ordeal at the hand of Tobias Hankel but his colleagues insisted that he have medical treatment as soon as they landed. He agreed, reluctantly. He was patched up and given a thorough examination and was issued pain meds by his treating physician. The doctor wanted Reid to stay for a couple of days but he was having none of that!

They helped him inside to his apartment and Jason got him settled while Hotch made some tea.

"You were very brave out there Spencer, you know that right?"

Spencer averted his gaze from Gideon. He couldn't bear to see the pain in Gideon's eyes; he had enough of his own pain to cope with.

"I don't really feel like talking about it just yet..."

"Understandably. Are the pain meds taking effect?"

"I'm fine. You guys really don't have to stay."

Hotch set a mug of sweet tea in front of him and said "We'll stay with you until we're sure you're okay Reid, no arguments."

Besides not having the energy to argue, Spence knew there was no point anyway - there was no way his colleagues would leave yet.

Aaron smiled "That cut will leave a nice scar; add a bit of character to your face."

Spence managed to return the smile but he didn't much care for the talk about his injuries.

After a moment or two Spencer said "Do you think JJ will be okay?"

Hotch and Gideon looked at one another and then back at Reid. Jason offered "She'll be fine. She will chalk this one up to experience, as we all will. The situation will serve you both in the future, in a good way."

Aaron scoffed "I'd be more worried about Garcia if I were you. She's going to hound you and hover over you like a mother hen until she knows you're 100%."

Jason laughed "She's a good one to have in your corner. Accept her attention and embrace it; you won't be able to stop it even if you wanted to."

Spence was tiring of the idle chatter; couldn't they just leave!

When it became apparent to both Hotch and Gideon that Reid wasn't engaging in their talk, Gideon said sternly "Reid, you do realise that you will have to have a few days off, don't you?"

That statement aroused Spencer. He snapped, "Yes! And obviously I will have to have a psych evaluation as well; I'm not totally clueless!"

"I wasn't suggesting that you were. Spencer, you're on edge - we can see that but you need to let it go."

"What I need is some time alone!"

Spence got up and walked to the window overlooking a small courtyard. Aaron raised his eyebrow at Jason; Jason shrugged. He didn't want to upset Reid and he certainly didn't want to push him either. The young man had been through enough.

Gideon walked over to Reid and placed a fatherly hand on his shoulder, a gesture that made Spence jump and pull away.

"I'm sorry... We'll give you some time alone... if you're sure that's what you want."

"I'm sure... positive."

Hotch and Gideon walked to the door. Without turning around Spence said "I appreciate you bringing me home."

Aaron "You know where to find us, when you're ready to talk Reid."

When Spencer heard the door close behind them he expelled a huge sigh of relief. Tears came; they didn't stop for quite some time... Sleep eventually came also.

In unison, Hotch and Gideon asked "So, how do we help Reid?" It was obvious that neither of the men had any real clue at this stage on what was best for their young colleague. They made the trek back to the BAU.

When Jason and Aaron walked back into the BAU bullpen it was Morgan who first approached them. "So, how is he? What can we do to help him?"

Gideon sighed "We're really not sure at this stage. He wanted time alone so we've given him that. I'll check on him later. The best thing we can all do is to be there for him when he needs us... and he will need us - it's just a matter of when and how he copes with all of this."

When Spence awoke his apartment had grown dark. He turned on a lamp and the vials on his coffee table immediately caught his attention. Surely he hadn't taken those out while Gideon and Hotch were there... No, he was sure he hadn't. He stared at the small receptacles and his body gave a shudder.

Spencer Reid would never fully comprehend or recall exactly the moment he picked up that first vial. He wouldn't ever realise that the slow walk to his medicine chest in the bathroom which held a handful of syringes would change his whole being. He dislodged the syringes from their holder; they were there because of one of his long-time friends is a diabetic and he kept syringes there in a case of emergency.

The drug-induced haze overtook him and the walls came crumbling down. Unlike his pleasant trips down memory lane, for the most part, whilst under the influence at the hands of his captor, this time around Spencer's trip took on a darker side. Previous unsubs, victims and survivors were whirling through his mind's eye. One by one faces appeared and went, some stayed longer than others.

The Tommy Killer, the D.A.s twin daughters, the psychiatric patient on a train... he performed magic to "remove" a secret chip... people, people poisoned with LSD. There was a head on a post... they had to detect a mole within the CIA... Oh, Lila... his mind lingered on this memory for a while longer - the kiss... the pool... the hurt in her eyes when she realised Spencer hadn't been truthful with her... their last moments together. He had been through the whole Fisherking saga - they all had. He had to involve his mother in the case; he would never want to do that again. "Peter", a tiny child caught up in a child pornography ring, Tracy Belle, teenage girls locked up in a basement and forced to turn on one another. Even in his haze Reid didn't want to dwell on the kids; it was way too painful. He forced himself to stop the images that were haunting him, hurting him, harming him.

Reid was jolted back to present day when his phone rang beside him on the couch. He made out the name 'Prentiss' on the screen and clumsily hit the reject button.

Emily went to JJ, "He's not taking my calls... what do you think we should do? How can we help Reid?"

JJ felt a huge pang of guilt come over her; "I don't know Emily... I guess he'll come to us when he wants or needs us."

"Are you okay? You haven't said much since we got back."

"I'm fine... Spence is back, he'll be fine... we can put this behind us."

"JJ, you're not still feeling guilty about this are you? You know Reid isn't going to blame you..."

JJ smiled weakly "I know..." [But that didn't mean that she wouldn't go on blaming herself] "Excuse me, I have files to go over." She went off in search of solitude.

A little while later Garcia emerged from her compound and made a bee-line for Morgan who was standing with Gideon and Hotch. "So, what can I do? How do I help him? Do I need to start baking? Does he need me to stock his fridge? Can I do his laundry... what? Tell me what..."

Gideon tapped her arm lightly and said "Breathe Penelope. We were just discussing the fact that Reid needs time to himself to process all of this. We're hoping that when he's ready, he will come to us. We can't force this; if we try to push him too hard he may pull back further and I don't want to see that happen."

Hotch "Garcia, Reid is well aware of how much we all care about him and he will know that we're here when he needs us... we just have to be patient."

Penelope nodded but she didn't understand the concept of waiting... not when it meant not reaching out and helping a family member like this. She shuffled back to her compound without a word. Morgan sighed "I'll talk to her. She'll make sense of all this."

The next time Reid awoke he realised that some 12 hours had passed. He saw the syringe on his coffee table and his body gave a slight shudder. His cell phone vibrated next to him on the sofa and he picked up. He had 6 missed calls. There were 2 from Prentiss, 1 from Morgan, 1 from JJ, 1 from Garcia and 1 that he knew to be from his mother's institution. He wasn't about to return any of the calls; he didn't want to speak to anyone about anything at any time soon. He tossed the phone up the other end of the sofa and lazily got up. A shower should make him feel better, he hoped.

When the warm water hit his body Reid became aware of the bruises, scrapes and open wounds on his tall thin body. His feet still ached from where he had been hit with a tree log and standing in the shower was a battle. He let the water run through his messy locks and just closed his eyes. The longer he couldn't see, the longer he didn't have to deal with reality.

He pulled on his comfortable pyjamas and bed socks. He really didn't even know what time it was but it felt good to be warm and ready for sleep. He made himself some hot tea and sat by his window. As soon as his body began to relax, memories of Tobias came flooding back. He screwed his eyes shut, not wanting to relive them, again... It wasn't so much the torture he was scared of reliving, it was that last tragic instant... he shot Tobias. He knew logically that all the personas inside his captor belonged to the one body but it was Tobias - his saviour - that lay there bleeding in that last moment of clarity before he died, not the evil personas that had treated him so badly. That thought brought tears to his eyes. He looked out at the sky, it was dark with clouds and he could sense rain coming.

He felt an aching in his arm and pulled the sleeve of his pyjamas up to reveal the track marks on his arm. He stared at the marks, longing them to disappear but he knew they weren't going anywhere. He ran his slender fingers through his hair and held his own frame within his arms as though cradling himself made him feel more secure.

The next 48 hours passed in a fog. Spencer Reid was a changed man; a scared young man... a world-naive man that wasn't ready for the changes that would overtake him in coming weeks, months. His colleagues would notice cracks in him before he would be aware of them himself. He was going to need the love and support of those around him when he was ready to face reality again and put away the vials and syringes for good... time would tell how long that would be.


End file.
